In a dating culture that both thrives on non-commitment as well as our collective fear of dying utterly and completely alone, it only makes sense that situationships have become so common. And honestly, these contradicting ideas have us all absolutely fucked in the head.
Just think about it. Situationships are a means of taming loneliness without having to give up independence or the chance of finding something “better.” Situationships also give the illusion of intimacy. You’re doing couple-esque things together like going on dates, having sex, and engaging in deep and emotionally-rich discussions, but without being exclusive to one another.
In a way, situationships are supposed to function as a sort of vulnerability insurance. You can’t lose what you never had, right? You technically can’t get your heart broken if you never even dated or mentioned you wanted something from the other person, right? And you can’t fully fall if you always had one foot out the door anyway, right?
No. Because if these things are true, if situationships actually protected us from getting hurt, then why is there still so much pain when a situationship ends and throughout one? If situationships really worked, why is everyone so bitter about modern dating?
Exactly. And yet, we still keep engaging in situationships because we claim it’s better than being alone. We tell ourselves that we don’t actually care about them that much, even though seeing them makes our day. We say we aren’t hurting when we see them talk to someone else at the bar, as if simply saying so will make it true.
The ugly truth about situationships is that they make us all into cowardly, emotionally bankrupt liars who are afraid to tell someone when we like them. But worst of all, situationships make us lie to ourselves and doubt our own hearts. There’s nothing honorable about that.
If you want to find lasting love, you need to take a chance. You need to risk getting turned down. You need to put everything on the line and accept the uncertainty that is falling for someone else. You need to be brave. You need to ask for what you want and be okay when someone else isn’t able to give you what you need.
You deserve more than a situationship. Act like it.