Why Girls With Anxiety Sometimes Settle In Relationships

Sometimes, we end up settling because we don’t want to cause waves. We don’t want to bring up whatever is bothering us in the relationship because we’re worried about scaring the other person away. We don’t want to cause drama. We shy away from conflict because it’s too stressful. We would rather silently suffer than bring our concerns to the forefront and end up in an argument. But if we aren’t open with our partners about our expectations and desires, then they’re never going to be able to give us what we want, even if they want to. We need to be upfront about our opinions because our partners can’t read our minds. They can’t guess what is bothering us when we refuse to fill them in.

Sometimes, we end up settling because we feel like we don’t deserve more than what we’re already receiving. Our anxiety makes us doubt ourselves. It makes us wonder whether we’re worthy of love at all. We don’t want to ask for more because we don’t want to be greedy. We don’t want to push our luck. We’re happy that there’s anyone on this planet who is willing to put up with us – when really, their presence should be the bare minimum. We aren’t bothering anybody. We are valuable and we deserve to be treated that way. We deserve the type of love that makes us happy and fulfilled.

Sometimes, we end up settling because we want to remain in our little bubbles, in our comfort zone. If we’ve been in a relationship for a long time, we won’t want to leave because we’re used to this person. We know what to expect from them. And even if we aren’t happy, at least we aren’t uncomfortable or frightened. We stay because we’re too scared of the unknown to take a leap – but sometimes risks are necessary. Sometimes risks will lead to the happiest possible outcomes. We can’t stay because it’s the most comfortable. But sometimes the most uncomfortable action is the best one for us.

Sometimes, we end up settling because we have so much trouble in the beginning stages of relationships. We don’t want to go out to parties and talk to new people and swipe through strangers on apps. We would rather skip to the relaxing stage of the relationship where we already know each other and feel comfortable around each other. We don’t want to jump back in the dating pool so badly that we’ll stay with the wrong person to avoid that experience again. But staying with the wrong person is never the answer. Quitting isn’t always a bad thing, especially when it comes to love.

Sometimes, we end up settling because we have soft hearts and lean toward forgiveness. After all, we have made our fair share of mistakes, so we don’t feel comfortable holding grudges over people who hurt us. We don’t want to push good people away. But there’s a difference between forgiving someone who is genuinely sorry and forgiving someone who has made a habit out of hurting us. We don’t owe anyone a thing. We aren’t obligated to stay in a relationship, just because we were in it yesterday. We can make a change at any time. We can set off on our own if that’s what’s best.