Your Relationship Won’t Survive If You Believe These 5 Lies
You aren’t supposed to fight with your partner.
It’s impossible to date someone without having your fair share of arguments. But there’s nothing wrong with fights – as long as you keep things respectful and listen to their side of the conversation. It’s way worse if you sweep your problems under the rug and refuse to bring them up with your partner. If you ignore your issues, they’re going to snowball. It’s much better to bring up whatever is bothering you so you can work toward finding a solution. Remember, every couple argues. It’s how they solve those arguments that matter.
You aren’t supposed to give more than you take (or vice versa).
Yes, a relationship should be equal. Both parties should be putting in around the same amount of effort. However, you don’t want to start keeping score because you’ll wind up resenting your partner. Remember, the relationship should be fifty-fifty overall – but that doesn’t mean you’re literally going to be doing the same amount of work every single day. Some days, you’re going to need a break and your partner will pick up the slack. Other days, your partner will need a hand and you’ll agree to do a little extra. A healthy relationship is about striking that balance and being there for each other when you’re needed.
Relationships require incredibly hard, brutal work.
Yes, you’re going to need to put effort into the relationship in order to make it last. Yes, there are going to be rough patches when you have to make the conscious decision to fix what is broken instead of running away. Even the best relationships require work and compromise and sacrifice — but loving your person shouldn’t feel like a chore. If you cannot stand the thought of being around them, if they aren’t bringing you happiness and haven’t for a long time now, then you’re in the wrong relationship. Don’t let anyone convince you that all relationships grow to become miserable. If you’re miserable, and nothing is able to change that, then maybe it’s time to end things.
Your partner should be able to guess what’s wrong.
Even though it’s frustrating when your partner can’t predict what is bothering you (or can’t even tell that you’re upset), you can’t expect them to read your mind. It’s up to you to vocalize what is wrong so they understand the situation from your side. Remember, they aren’t going to be able to change their behavior or apologize in a meaningful way if they don’t know what’s bothering you. You need to speak up. The longer you make them guess, the longer until you can start to make up.
Their jealousy, lies, and overprotectiveness is romantic.
Maybe they love you – but they certainly aren’t showing that love in the right way if they’re acting overly controlling. You should never take their manipulation as a compliment. There are people out there who show their love with compliments and surprise presents and back massages – not jealousy and threats. Loving you is only part of the equation. You want them to love you in a healthy way.