Horoscope For Today: Tuesday, June 11, 2024

If you can picture the four seasons of the year as runners circling a track, spring is poised to hand the baton to summer. The glorious sunbeams of late-spring warmth reach out to embrace the glimmering promise of hot fun in the summertime. It feels great to be alive and have fun—just be very, very careful about what you say and write, at least until tomorrow.

Let’s see what’s happening in outer space today:

• Venus in Trine to Neptune: Venus, the planet of sensual excess and fleshly indulgence, hangs in the firmament above us at a 120-degree angle toward Neptune, the celestial orb that guides creativity and dreams. Together they produce a symphony of interstellar harmony whose soothing vibrations urge us toward romance and fantasy. Today provides a rare opportunity to make your romantic fantasies come true—but are you bold enough to let it happen?

• Mercury Square Mars: Because Mercury orbits so closely to the Sun, it has face-meltingly hot surface temperatures of up to 800°F. The smallest of all planets, Mercury governs communication and intellect. Mars rules over war, strength, aggression, and assertiveness. These two feisty planets are 90 degrees apart today, which makes it risky and dicey for anyone who seeks to communicate calmly, rationally, and in a way that doesn’t cause arguments or flat-out brawls. Be wary of this in all of your interactions with others today, especially anyone you dislike. You’re asking for trouble even if you try to be reasonable and nice to them today. If you can afford to avoid them until later in the week, do it. 

Here is here is what the Sun, Moon, planets, and stars have in store for you today.

Aries

Jupiter, the planet that governs luck, fun, travel, and wealth, continues its transit through Aries. Jupiter is the biggest of all planets—more than twice the size of all other planets combined—so it urges you to think and act big today. Just keep in mind that Mercury is also squaring Mars (your ruling planet), so don’t talk big today, because it could wind up disastrously for you. As they used to say in the Navy, “Loose lips sink ships.” Boldly plot your moves and make them, but do it silently. It will make all the difference between success and failure.

Taurus

Uranus, the planet of sudden and unexpected change, continues its extended transit through Taurus, the zodiac’s most impudently stubborn sign. But even though you don’t like rocking the boat and are much more comfortable with what’s familiar, don’t act surprised if Uranus crashes your party like a giant celestial wrecking ball and turns your entire world upside down. Strap yourself in and brace yourself for some kind of life-changing event today. Odds are that the change will involve something financial. A huge unexpected inheritance? An even huger but unanticipated debt? Keep your eyes on the dollar signs today.

Gemini

Your ruling planet of Mercury is locked in a Texas Death Cage Match with Mars. Despite your powers of persuasion and keen verbal prowess, it’s probably best for you to take a vow of silence today. Don’t let the Bad Twin convince you otherwise and lure you into a tedious argument or confrontation with a malicious adversary. The Sun is also in Gemini, so take advantage of this fact to learn, study, research, make lists, and plot your attack plan. When the sun rises tomorrow, you can resume with your endless and compulsive blabbing—sorry, that came off sounding far more insulting than I’d intended. Let me try again: Wait until tomorrow before you resume your utterly charming but endless and compulsive blabbing.

Cancer

The Moon—your ruling and often domineering celestial orb—is in Cancer, making you even more emotional, sensitive, and maternal than you usually are, which is saying a mouthful. Venus is also in Cancer. Venus is the planet of libertines and sex fiends and those who are seduced by wealth and beauty and luxury and sensual pleasure. If you have the opportunity to slink away from work and chores, seize this delicious chance to arrange a romantic encounter within the safety and comfort of your own home. Or if you’re not in the mood for romance, maybe just arrange a quick friends-with-benefits hookup on your home turf and kick them to the curb once the bodily fluids start to dry.

Leo

Because you thrive on confidence and extroversion and assertiveness—and, in some instances, outright aggression and intimidation—I hesitate to warn you about Mercury squaring Mars. These two hot-headed planets are sounding the alarm that you need to be very careful with your words. I realize that you don’t like being told what to do, and you especially don’t like being told what not to do, but if you decide to ignore my advice and tell that asshole you hate what you really think about them, your rebellious streak will bite you in the ass so hard that you’ll need to get stitches.

Virgo

Venus in trine to Neptune is your most relevant celestial aspect. Although you typically tend to be logical, methodical, and detail-oriented, I encourage you to either skip class, call in sick from work, or take an unexpected break from all the routine and drudgery. Of course, don’t take it to such an extreme that you flunk out from school or get fired from your job. But if you can manage to find a creative way to step aside from your normal rituals and live it up a little, let Venus and Neptune be your tour guides at the local amusement park. Make today a day you’ll never forget.

Libra

You thrive on fairness, harmony, peace, and tranquility. If you’d like to keep it that way, heed the fact that Mercury is squaring Mars. Just as if you were a criminal suspect being interrogated by hostile detectives, remember that anything you say can and will be held against you. So if you’re not in the mood for a shouting match or a knife fight, keep your negative thoughts to yourself. That person you despise will continue to be loud and rude and obnoxious and annoying without you having to inform them of it. But they will get a thousand times worse if you foolishly spill the beans and tell them how you really feel about them.

Scorpio

Venus and Neptune are singing your song, tempting you to live out an erotic fantasy that’s been percolating deep inside your libido for years now. Today is where flesh meets fantasy and where dreams become reality. Today your goal is to cum so hard that it wakes the dead. There ought to be a law against being as good as you are in bed, you sexy little scorpion with your sleek exoskeleton and lethal stinger. If your bed was a boxing ring, you’d be an undefeated heavyweight champion. If being attractive was a crime, you’d be sentenced to life in prison.

Sagittarius

You are the zodiac’s great explorer and risk-taker. You were born with an almost insatiable curiosity. This is where Venus in trine to Neptune becomes relevant. Venus doesn’t only govern sexual pleasure; it covers a wide swath that includes indulgences such as buying expensive trinkets, treating yourself to a gourmet meal, or pampering yourself at the local spa to the point where your muscles are so relaxed, you’re like one giant boiled noodle. 

Capricorn

You are practical, honest, ambitious, trustworthy, reliable, loyal, disciplined, and hardworking. You are basically an angel sent down to Earth to shame the rest of us for being so weak, lazy, and two-faced. But tonight when all your work is done, let that special someone in your life show their gratitude. Let them cook dinner for you. Let them rub you from head to toe in cedar-scented massage oil and gently work out all the knots and kinks that have accumulated all day. Or just let them drive you home from work as you sit in the passenger’s seat and take in all the scenery.

Aquarius

Pluto, which once was considered a planet but has since suffered a humiliating downgrade to a mere “dwarf planet” that’s been exiled to the solar system’s furthest, darkest, and coldest reaches, has begun a long journey through Aquarius. Pluto represents destruction and renewal. Pay attention today, because whether you realize it or not, you’ve taken the first few steps toward radically overhauling your life. It’s out with the bad and in with the good. Just like a gardener carefully pruning your plants, it’s time for you to cut out what you don’t need, pull out the weeds from the roots, and lovingly water the things you want to grow and thrive. 

Pisces

Two planets continue their path through Pisces today. The first is Neptune, your planetary ruler, which prods you to follow your dreams and develop your creativity. The second is Saturn, the wise teacher that gradually bestows wisdom and responsibility. Today these two planets combine to offer you a rare chance to balance fantasy and reality. Perhaps you’d like to become a world-class gymnast. But to make that happen, you should first turn off the TV, get off the couch, and start stretching. Maybe you’d like to be Hollywood’s highest-paid screenwriter. That’s a noble goal, but it’s probably best if you first write a screenplay. Or at least come up with an idea for a screenplay.